Jay Harris
“I remember while in a treatment facility that I would toss my cigarettes under the bed at night so I had to get on my knees in the morning to get them. That was how I developed the good habit of praying first thing in the morning.
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❤️JAY HARRIS
🧡LOCATION: INDIANA
💛PHOTO BY: EVELYN HARRIS
💜BLACK ”TEARS” ITEM: OUTFIT/BACKGROUND/MICROPHONE
💙CAPE BY @INDIE_TRUE_
💚FOLLOW @TEARSANDTAFFETA
🎤IN JAY’S WORDS...
"My Testimony"
I was born the youngest of 5 children. I believe that I had a pretty good childhood. Heck, I was the baby, so I got away with almost everything. We had the party house. Not in a bad way but, people always felt comfortable and welcomed at our house. We played cards, listened to music, danced, and did a lot of drinking.
Early the next morning after each party, I found myself so-called "cleaning up." That's when I would get a chance to taste all of the different liquors that were available. I believe it all started as a little boy, I would go and get a beer from out of the fridge for people. I eventually would open it for them and sneak a sip on the way back. That was my introduction to the desire for alcohol which opened the door for me to experiment with stronger drugs.
Drinking casually developed into a habit. At first, it was fun, or so I thought. It got to the point that while in high school, I could out-drink all my friends. I was also introduced to different drugs while in high school. I found out as a teenager that alcohol could make me feel numb from my emotions. Anything that I didn't want to deal with, I could suppress it with the bottle.
After years of excessive drinking, alcohol wasn't strong enough. I began smoking marijuana, snorting cocaine, popping different pills, and finally smoking crack cocaine. My father worked a lot, and therefore, I didn't receive a lot of support from him. For example, he never came to any of my sporting or school events. He played catch with me once. That really hurt me. He also drank a lot, and I was ashamed of him. My mom would say things like, "Don't drink, or you'll be like your father," or "Let your brother do it. He's good at putting things together." That messed with my esteem. That made me feel inadequate. Instead of me confronting the situations, I found comfort in the bottle and other drugs. I learned about sex by watching porn. That was my idea of love. I had to learn a lot on my own. I don't blame my family. They did what they thought was right, or what they were taught.
I had a lot of bad relationships with women. I was very arrogant, selfish, and inconsiderate. I was often hurt by these relationships, and I again turned to drugs. I was afraid of confrontation, and I didn't know who I was. When I was around white people, I acted white. When I was around black people, I acted black. When I was around Hispanic people, I acted Hispanic, and when I was around homosexuals, I acted gay. I had an identity crisis. This went on for well over 15 years.
I was a functioning dope addict. I always had a job or two, but never any money. I didn't realize that I was destroying everyone that I was coming into contact with. I just thought that I was only hurting myself. After a failed marriage, I really started on a downward spiral of destruction. I drank and drugged so much that every day was a binge. I would shake violently and would have to take a shot of booze to calm myself in the mornings. I was addicted to whomever, wherever, and whenever. I had no self-esteem, so I would sleep with prostitutes instead of trying to have a relationship with women.
I sought help at many different drug treatment facilities, and I was arrested a couple of times. I still wasn't ready to stop. I started missing work and losing friends. It had gotten so bad in 1994 that I even checked myself into a rehab facility on my birthday, which is March 26th. I could only detox for a few days, and when released, I ended up living in a transient hotel. I had to walk 4 to 5 miles to work. Someone at my job loaned me money to pay my rent, and I spent it on alcohol and crack cocaine.
When I finally came to my senses, it was 3 days later. I went to work, and I was fired because it was my third no call-no show. When I returned to the hotel, I didn't have any money. They kept all that I had, and I was homeless. As I walked around aimlessly, I began to pray. I remember saying, "Lord, I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. My life is in your hands. I surrender my life to you." When I surrendered my life to Christ, I knew that my life was no longer in the hands of a fool.
Instantly the idea came to me to call the treatment center I was in just a couple of weeks ago. You had to call every day to see if a bed had opened up. That day when I called, one bed was available, and I had just enough change in my pocket to make it about halfway there. I walked another 8 to 10 miles before I reached the facility. As I walked, I knew that God instantly removed my compulsion to drink and drug away. That was April 19th, 1994. It was the last time I had a drink or drug. The Bible tells us in John 8:36, "Whom the son sets free, is free indeed." I now know that in order for me to be set free, I had to totally surrender. All the other times, I only wanted to get out of the situation at that time.
I know I have to continue to fill myself with the word of God and speak it over my life daily. I must believe and not doubt. No matter what I see in the natural, I know that it is already done in the spirit. Just like a muscle that needs to work out every day in order to be well-developed, your faith needs to work out every day in order for it to be well-developed. Learn to trust God with all that you have, and He will work it out. I'm a witness that He will. I remember while in a treatment facility that I would toss my cigarettes under the bed at night so I had to get on my knees in the morning to get them. That was how I developed the good habit of praying first thing in the morning.
Now, it has been twenty-six years without a drink or drug and twenty-five years without a cigarette. To God be all the glory. Now I have found my purpose in life and I have a destiny. I've been through some very dark times in my life. All of the colors of the cape represent the light of God and the good that has come to my life. I've been married to a beautiful and mighty woman of God for twenty-five years. We have two wonderful children and two fantabulous granddaughters. I'm an ordained Deacon at my church and we serve on our church's Ministry Team as well. I write and perform music. Not only that, I have a catering business and my wife and I have an Entertainment Company. We travel around to different senior facilities and other venues and we perform a one-hour variety show complete with costume changes and different characters. We really enjoy spreading the love and joy of God too. You can check us out HERE.
As you can see, my life is pretty full. It's by the grace of God, total surrender, trusting and believing in the Word of God. He is no respecter of persons. If He did it for me, He'll do it for you.
About Jay…
Jay Harris is the owner of Jay's Catering, half the talent behind Ev and Jay Entertainment, and an ordained deacon at his church. Jay enjoys writing and performing music. He and his lovely wife Evelyn are a part of their church's Ministry Team and enjoy spreading the love and word of God. They have two amazing kids and two fantabulous grandkids.