Rob Bell

“ I could be a role model for others so they might see that they do not have to be emotionless to be strong.”

— Rob Bell

❤️ ROB BELL

🧡 LOCATION: CRETE, IL

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🎤 IN ROB’S WORDS...

The idea of wearing a cape and being a superhero in the eyes of a child is one and the same. You can’t really be a superhero without some sort of costume.

Growing up watching Superman or Spiderman cartoons, I think most kids in the 1970’s had it in their minds that they could be just like what they saw on TV or in the movies. We could fight for right, save the girl, and have a happy ending.

Then puberty and reality smacked us in the face, and we were told that showing emotion was a sign of weakness and that one could not cry about the bad things that inevitably happen to all of us. Your girlfriend broke up with you, you got a bad grade in school…all of these things happen, and we were taught to pull it together and move on. I felt that way for a long time, and that emotions were something women have and men tolerate.

It was December 9, 2008, that broke me. My wife told me she wanted out and that our marriage was over. I saw my entire life blow up in front of me. I would move out of the home we had built together, see my kids on a schedule, and have to start over. I was lost, angry, and bitter. I was not like the superheroes I had seen growing up. I thought I would not have a happy ending. I bottled up a lot of the anger and resentment I had for years.

 I was lucky enough to have a second chance with my new wife, Gina, in 2011, but my buildup emotions almost soured that relationship. I did not know how to handle the stresses of a blended family and made many mistakes that hurt the ones I loved. It was only in 2014 that I began to seek help in the form of therapy and going back to Church. Both of those places, along with my wife's patience, helped show me that the real superheroes in my life did not have capes that proclaimed their power to help. Instead, they made real differences in their compassion, understanding, and capacity to help others.

I will not sugarcoat the mistakes I have made. I have not always acted like a superhero, but sometimes like a villain. Let us not forget that, like Dracula, they can also wear capes. What I can say with all honesty is that being able to open up, to be vulnerable with those that I love and cherish, and to not be afraid to be true to myself has brought me into a happier frame of mind.

 I did not have to wear a cape to be a superhero, but I could wear one for all those who are afraid to for fear they might be labeled as weak for showing emotion. I could be a role model for others so they might see that they do not have to be emotionless to be strong.

I hope that by wearing the cape, my story can be seen as one that helps others be true to themselves and not one dictated by what society and popular culture demand of them.